What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever been faced with? A failed test? A gun to your head? Spiders? Death of friends or family? Butter and if it’s a carb (yes, reference intended)? Fellow Potterheads may relate this to facing a boggart in Lupin’s classroom. There are an infinite number of answers to this question, though reasoning behind fear may boil down to similar origins.
Failure. The unknown.
It’s human nature to fear this. I know this is one of my biggest issues, mainly stemming from my depression and anxiety. Granted, if you don’t, please teach me your ways, O Wise One of Controlled Feels. Or maybe you’re just afraid to admit you feel this way. But why? What’s the worst that could happen? “Well everyone will judge me and stare burning holes into my soul, Kaden. My life will be over once people find out I’m scare of fudging up.” Yeah, same. That’s more or less been my struggle writing this post. It’s my first one, so what if anyone who happens to stumble upon it thinks it stupid and writes off (heh, punny…) my blog as irrelevant and pointless? My fear caused me to write, delete, rewrite, delete again over and over simply due to the fact I wanted this post to not fail in the eyes of you, my reader.
Hang on, though. At the end of the day, who should really be at peace with what this blog says: a reader that may or may not even find this blog or me, the one that finds release and confidence when words can pour from her fingertips to a blank canvas? Don’t get me wrong! I absolutely want to bring some kind of insight or entertainment or a feeling of acceptance into your life. I just don’t want to compromise my own sanity. My therapist (a BEAUTIFUL young woman who is super helpful) has coined the phrase, “I am meeting my needs by ignoring your needs” and even had it put on a bumper sticker for me (see, the best). Yeah, it sounds a bit controversial, but it’s also a good way to look at things when you’re feeling stuck in a hamster wheel.
Let’s say you’re worried about failing an assignment for work or school. It’s due tomorrow. You have most of it done but are feeling extraordinarily stressed. You sit down to work on it, happening to look out the window and notice the beginning of what promises to be an idealistic sunset. Do you let fear of having a less than perfect assignment stop you from going out and enjoying that sunset with a glass of *insert favorite beverage*? When I have moments like this, I pull up an anonymous quote to put things back into perspective.
“Life becomes more meaningful when you realize the simple fact that you’ll never get the same moment twice.”
Savor the moment. You have one life. Your fear may be strong, but it doesn’t deserve to control your life. That’s for you to do.
In need of any more quotes? Someone to reach out to? My ears and heart are all yours.