There Is No Point

Wouldn’t you say it’s about time we push away all falsities and just grasp the raw truth?

Life has no point.

It doesn’t.  Now don’t get all righteous on me and say it’s our job to make the world a better place and what not.  Don’t jump to conclusions; just listen.  For centuries upon centuries, no one has been able to solidify enough real information to give us the answer we need.  There are countless sources with contradictory information, though.  The earth and all its characteristics were made from God, straight from Genesis 1:1.  Our galaxy was created in an astronomical explosion and, thanks to gravity and a few other properties, the universe came to be, from “A Day Without Yesterday” written by Mark Midbon.  I could go on and on talking about reality being a mere fragment of imagination or being puppets of a greater being, but you don’t really care about any of that, do you?

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m glad you’re here!  It’s important you acknowledge why you’re really here instead of the basic “I want to be a good person”.  You’re probably here to find some source of inspiration that will miraculously push you to conquer life and magically accomplish your biggest dream.  Or you’re here because you’re at the end of your rope yet still grasping at straws just in case you missed something.  Either way, we are all searching for the same thing: purpose.  We are all hoping someone out there knows a trick to find life’s true purpose that no one else has heard of.

I hate to break it to you, but there isn’t one.

But there are also over 7 billion.

Simultaneously.

Yes, you heard that correctly.  No, wait, I don’t mean that one person has to live up to over 7 billion reasons to exist.  That’s impossible and, to be frank, just plain anal.  Putting that much pressure on one person is going to kill them faster than any disease.  To that, many people usually just say, “Screw this,” and abandon any real direction or desire to accomplish goals.  Neither one of these extremes are going to reward you – take it from someone who’s tried both and hit rock bottom each time.

There is no point.  But there are also over 7 billion points.

No human is supreme.  But there are over 7 billion unique souls.

Think on that for a moment while you listen to this short audio clip from a recently released Netflix film entitled To The Bone.  It’s a movie about a 20-year-old woman named Ellen who is struggling with anorexia nervosa.  (Don’t worry.  This audio does not focus upon any topic that may trigger someone currently with/who had an eating disorder.  However, it will most likely make you uncomfortable.)  https://youtu.be/Dx7-SX6N6W0  

Ellen’s first time seeing her new doctor, Dr. William Beckham

*hands you tissue* This is a hard idea to come to terms with, especially hearing it like this.  Eli (as she calls herself) begs her doctor for hope, but There are enough idiotic inspirational quotes out there that mean nothing.  Beckham knows better than to feed falsities to a girl so good at seeing through society’s bullshit.  The path he chooses is honesty.

“There is no point.  Or at least big picture – we don’t get to know what it is.”

Obviously, this isn’t what Eli wanted to hear.  Like many of us, she wanted the magic words that would save instantly save her.  No more searching or struggling or deliberating.  Just a reason.  He refuses to give it to her.  Maybe that’s because he doesn’t want to lead her on.  Maybe it’s because he himself doesn’t know.  Or maybe he knows that the reason he gets up and faces each morning will never be the reason Eli chooses life over starvation.

That’s the case with everyone.  That’s why there can be over 7 billion points to existence or none at all.  There is no one on this earth who can “save” you or appoint you a reason to stay alive.

The reason is up to you.

Other people can help you, but the choice to put down a razor blade or to apply for a prestigious job or to attend a missions trip is all yours.  Before I have anyone jump at my throat, I understand what is meant by the term ‘this band saved me’ or ‘this speaker turned my life around’.  My adolescent therapist, Twenty One Pilots, Dan and Phil, and Lilly Singh were those people for me.  I used to say they saved me from the life I’d been living.  Which is partially true.  My therapist showed my eyes where to look for a new side of the equation.  Tyler and Josh of TOP created honest and comforting music for when I thought I was alone.  Dan and Phil used their platform to show people (typically people like me) that there was a way to move on.  Lilly showed the world that there was nothing holding anyone back if you didn’t let it.  So sure.  They had a hand in my awakening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But to say they SAVED me, that’s just not true.  I saved myself.  Me.  Kaden Elizabeth Hurley.  I cried to a friend instead of suffocating all emotion.  I made the choice to I made the choice to stop purging my food.  I pulled off the road instead of crashing into a tree without a seatbelt.  I made the choice to engage with those idols mentioned above and to incorporate parts of their success tricks into my life.  It was me.

I gave my own life meaning.

Taking someone else’s passion and trying to make it yours only backfires on you.  Life’s point has to be important to you.  Fight for your country, knit hats for homeless people, get out of bed even when depression strikes, I don’t care.  Wait, no, I do care.  I care an awful lot.  I care so much that I’m here for you, right now, telling you that you’ve had the strength, the skill, the dedication inside you all along.  I can’t tap into it and guide you to a promotion or a counseling center or a medical discovery.  That’s your responsibility.  All I can do is remind you of your uniqueness.  Over 7 billion people and not one repetition.

So do yourself a favor when you’re done reading this.  Think of something you need to make your life feel complete.  (Write it down in the comments or on twitter if you want to be held accountable.)  Channel that concept into your everyday life.  Adjust your purpose if you need to, but never forget it.

Because remember, life has no point until you give it one.

Superwoman is my Superhero

You know those moods that turn into funks that turn into a long-term slumps?  No, not the kind of funk that all the girls out there go through once a month *coughs* *raises hand*.  It’s more like the progression Harry goes through in Order of the Pheonix when he’s kind of being controlled by Voldemort.  Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about here.  You feel angry or upset all the time and end up pushing responsibilities away and cease all creative evolution because none of it really matters anyway.

Yup, I admit to it.  This has been me for the past year or so.  When I woke up, I had no real reason motivating me to get out of bed, to put makeup and clothes on,  to complete even the littlest tasks.  I blamed this on my depression and anxiety teaming up to see if they could get me to crumble again.  I just went through the motions with as little active thinking as humanly possible, hoping they would eventually go away.

Stop grimacing at me!  I’m only human, too, okay?

Thankfully, there’s this cool thing called YouTube where one is able to spend copious hours of their life laughing, learning, crying, cringing without really realizing all of that time has passed and you haven’t showered in two days…. Anyway!  On YouTube, I am a massive fan of only a few creators (all, I’m sure, I will address at some point here and in a video on my own channel) who’ve produced worth while content.  One YouTuber in particular has gone above and beyond making videos to really making a difference for women, education, and poverty.  This creator goes by the name Lilly “iiSuperwomanii” Singh.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/09/10/10/2C247A1100000578-3229013-image-a-136_1441877375773.jpg
Lilly Singh, killing it as usual.

I’ve been watching her videos for, what, two years now?  Probably more: depression alters your perception of time.  Her real life humor and emotion captivated me to watch not only her main channel but her vlog channel as well.  In March 2017, she published a book called How to be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life that outlines her philosophy on truly living life and being as successful as possible.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjzpffwtpPVAhXGxRQKHaUhBaUQjRwIBw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FHow-Be-Bawse-Guide-Conquering%2Fdp%2F0425286460&psig=AFQjCNF89hRybSF3tWsVNePt9ohc-sCCnQ&ust=1500487824983486
Here it is!

I wasted no time purchasing a copy and devouring the first chapter, then the second chapter, and before I knew it, the book was finished.  After watching her videos for so long, I thought I had a grasp of who Lilly was, but this book brought me to an entirely new and powerful level of her true self that filled me to the brim with emotion.

For those of you who don’t know, Lilly actually went through an episode of depression toward her final years in University where she was studying psychology.   She described it as “hitting rock bottom”.  Instead of staying lost in that crippling realm of chronic self-hatred, she decided to fight for a way to be happy.  She is now one of the most influential women in the world, and God knows she won’t stop there.

Back to the present where I had just closed the back cover of How to Be A Bawse to see one final gem of wisdom with the definition of a bawse.   BAWSE/baus/n: a person who exudes confidence, hustles relentlessly, reaches goals, gets hurt efficiently, and smiles genuinely because he or she has fought through it all and made it out the other side.  

I soaked in every podcast, interview, or short clip of her speaking about the book I could find.  From each recording I clung to a phrase or an idea that added fuel to my fire.  This may sound annoyingly cliche, but it’s true; Lilly’s testimony of success awoke something within myself.  I felt it come alive, warmth flowed from my chest to the rest of my body.  It was beautiful yet stern.  The message was clear: stop waiting for everyone else, because you know damn well you are the only one who can do this.  

I believe everyone needs someone to look up to who truly embodies their definition of success or happiness or both (Lilly is absolutely both for me).  Don’t try and copy their every move; let their individuality empower your own unique strengths and embrace the worthwhile ideas that she/he stands for.  Lilly is my person.  Who’s yours?